If you are a fan of Hugh MacLeod and his diabolical cartoon riffs, you'll probably remember his now famous “If you talked to people the way advertising talked to people, they'd punch you in the face” line. I don't know that I've ever wanted to punch an advertiser in the face, but I recently got as close as I think I've ever been.
Here's what got me all worked up: an automated message from a company (name withheld to protect the not-so-innocent) whose newsletter I unsubscribed from. By the way, I unsubscribed because I was receiving emails about a product that was irrelevant to my business, and I had never signed up in the first place.
You have unsubscribed from the "X Corp" email broadcast service. You will no longer receive details of new products, special offers or local events from us. Should your requirements change in the future please do not hesitate to email us at "info@xcorp.com".
Sincerely,
X-corp webmaster
Rather than point out what makes me want to fly my foot through the air at 72 mph (the fastest kick ever recorded), I thought I would take the liberty of rewriting that message. Here goes:
Although we are very sorry to see you go, we got the message and you won't receive these emails from us anymore. We get pretty bummed anytime a member of our community leaves us, so I have to ask: is there anything we can do to get you back? If there is, I'd love to hear from you. Email me at realname@xcorp.com and we'll see what we can do to make this right. Of course, we will welcome you back with open arms anytime, and we were lucky to have you in the first place.
Sincerely,
Real Name
Both messages take exactly the same amount of time and effort to produce. One says "see ya later, sucker," and the other says "please don't go, I love you so." Of course, some people are going to leave you no matter what you put in your message. But what if you saved just one subscriber that turned into a great client for your business? A little effort can go a long way.
In a world where business is becoming increasingly social, creating communication that looks like it was written by a human being not only feels better, it's much more likely to produce the result you are looking for. Oh yes, you'll also avoid being punched in the face.
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